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  “It would be impossible for me to be repulsed by you. Completely impossible. Now, move those hands so I can see.”

  My hands don’t move as fast this time, but he waits. Looks me in the eye and waits for me to be brave enough to see more of my flaws. Another man might not wait for me like this when we were just in the throes of passion, but Guil does.

  I close my eyes as I drop my hands, and within seconds one nipple is covered by a hot mouth while the other one is caressed by a warm hand. There is no other word to use for what he’s doing than “worship” and I’m feeling it all over. He licks, sucks, and even bites all while I arch my back and get more aroused by the second.

  “Damn, but these are perfect,” he says holding one of my breasts in his two hands. “Almost two full handfuls. I can’t wait to fuck them.”

  “Okay.”

  It’s stupid, but it’s all I can say right now. He can do that. I’d honestly let him do almost anything right now. I trust him.

  “No, it’s not. I promised I’d cherish you, and I will.”

  I want to argue, but he’s moving down my body and his mouth makes me forget any objections I had. I don’t feel like the curve of my stomach is a bad thing when he’s kissing it. My hips don’t feel big when he nibbles on them. And yeah, when he pulls my panties off and licks me right where I need him, nothing else matters.

  Guil eats me like I’m the best thing he’s ever tasted and it’s a powerful feeling. As he murmurs against my skin and nudges my clit with his tongue, I feel like I’m leaving my body. I’m so wet I should be ashamed, but I’m not. I’m this bold new woman I don’t recognize and I love her.

  It only takes a few minutes of him playing with my clit before I’m screaming his name. He doesn’t stop like I expected, sliding two fingers in me as I come. I don’t know how my back doesn’t break as I come again, because it’s arched as far as it can go.

  “Guil.”

  “A man knows how to find his woman’s G-spot.”

  “Find it with your cock and I’ll be even more impressed.”

  “I think you might just be ready for it, Ly.”

  “Yes.”

  At least I think I’m ready, before he slips on a condom and fills me with one thrust. I’ve never felt so full or so sexy before, and I come again as he starts to move slowly in and out of me.

  “That’s it. Keep coming for me. I love how it feels when you squeeze my cock. It makes you even tighter.”

  “So good. It’s never been like this.”

  “No. It hasn’t. You’re perfect everywhere.”

  He says the words, and then he’s coming too. It may have been fast but it was better than good, and I want it again. I want this man to live inside of me until I can’t take anymore pleasure, and I know that’s exactly what he’s going to do.

  Chapter 5

  Guil

  It’s been five days since I first made love to Lyla. There’s no other way to describe it than that. I don’t fuck her, or screw her—I make love to her. There’s an urgency I can’t stop from coming out, but it’s still sweet. It’s the only way I can have her.

  I want to fuck her against the wall and tie her to my bed, but she’s not like that, and it’s okay. I’m coming just as hard as if I took her hard. Okay, maybe not as hard, but I’m definitely satisfied. More satisfied than I’ve been in a long time, if ever. No other woman makes me feel like this, and because of it, the sex is better. It’s different with her, because she’s different—in the best way possible.

  During the day, she paints while I do some actual work for Miles. The clients from the other night raved about me, and only want to work with me, so it’s happening. That one lie has turned into a truth. One of the many, and yet, I can’t stop myself from continuing on the path I’ve chosen. It has to be done, no matter what happens after.

  Lyla and I share all of our meals together and we talk about anything and everything. And we make love. Often. So often I’m surprised we have the energy for anything else. Although I tend to feel invigorated after being with her, like some of her light has seeped into my dark soul.

  I know what it is, even if I don’t name it. I’m in a relationship and I’m falling in love with her. It’s all going to come back to bite me in the ass, but this is what it is. Love. A love I want to hold onto, even though I know I can’t. A love I know I’ve felt for longer than these five days, even if I never admitted it to myself before now. I need to tell her, but not yet. I can’t do it yet.

  Between my work for Miles, and my time with Lyla, I’ve still managed a few hours at the club every night. I don’t tell her where I’m going and she doesn’t question me about it, even though I can tell she wants to. I haven’t touched another woman, but they’ve come close enough to me that I know their perfume lingers. I shower before I go to Lyla when I get home and neither of us talks about it, but I know it hurts her. I don’t want to hurt her, and it will be over soon.

  Calum’s coming to town this weekend to interview the two candidates. Once we have a manager, I can step back like I have with all of the other clubs. I make a monthly—unannounced—check on a few of the clubs we have around the world, but I won’t be in any of them regularly one this hiring has happened.

  “Are you going out again tonight?” Lyla asks, coming into my office in her paint-splattered tank top and jeans.

  “I have meetings, yes.”

  “Meetings.”

  She sounds resigned and unhappy. I should let it go, but I can’t. “Is there something you want to say?”

  “No.”

  We both know that’s a lie, but I’m not going to push it—or her. She’s embraced her sexuality and came here to me in Santa Barbara without warning, but the insecure girl is still lurking inside this amazing woman. I want to help her banish those insecurities, but I know she has to do it on her own. I can help, but I can’t make them all go away for her. My magic wand doesn’t work that way.

  “Okay. I’m planning on making chicken for dinner if that works for you.”

  “I’m going out.”

  “Oh. I guess I’ll just grab something before my meeting.”

  “You’re not going to ask me where I’m going?” she asks, looking like she’s going to burst into tears.

  What the ever-loving fuck is going on? “No. Why would I?”

  “We’re together. You should want to know where I am.”

  “I trust you, Lyla. That means I don’t worry about where you are or who you’re with. If you want to tell me, fine. If not, that’s also fine. Your choice.”

  “Men,” she says, turning and storming from the room.

  I should probably get up and follow her. That’s what a good boyfriend would do. Boyfriend? Yeah, I’m her fucking boyfriend, and I need to make this better.

  “Wait,” I yell, bolting from my chair.

  “Why should I?”

  “I know my meetings bother you, but they’ll be over soon. I promise. I just have some things I have to finish taking care of.”

  “Things or people?”

  Is she serious? She honestly thinks I’d have the energy to be fucking other people after our daily sprints and marathons?

  “Is there something you want to ask me?”

  She shakes her head. “No, because I don’t want the answer.”

  “I just told you I trust you, but you don’t trust me.” It’s not a question, because what she just said was pretty clear.

  “I want to, but how can I when you won’t tell me where you’re going?”

  “Trust means I shouldn’t have to tell you.”

  “Trust is also earned. You’re not doing much to earn my trust.”

  Bullshit. I’m lying to her about things, but I’ve never given her any reason to not trust how I feel about her and what we’re doing. I practically worship the ground she walks on, but it’s just not enough. I don’t know how to be enough.

  “You’re free to walk out the front door if you’re not comfortable with our rela
tionship.”

  “Is that what you want?” she asks, her eyes filling and her voice wobbly.

  “Never. I never want you to leave. But, if you don’t trust me, we have nothing.”

  “I want to,” she says again.

  “Then do it.”

  “I’m trying,” she tells me and walks away from me again. This time, I don’t follow her.

  Lyla

  I never even imagined I would be doing something like this. But, I don’t know what else to do. Things with Guil have been strained since we had our argument. We still sleep in the same bed every night, and our bodies come together because we can’t fight our attraction, but everything else is gone. The talks, the laughter—it’s just gone. I won’t take all of the blame, even though I know I pushed him, because he still comes home smelling like other women every night.

  “Lyla? I must say I never expected to see you here,” Calum tells me, walking into the room where I’m supposed to get fitted for some kind of anklet.

  Yes, I’m in his sex club, because I fear I’m too boring for Guil. I don’t actually want to have sex with someone else, but I need to learn some new tricks. Some things to keep Guil interested in me and not “meeting” with other women.

  “I never expected to be here,” I tell him honestly.

  “You should go home.”

  “Do I not look okay?” I ask, pulling at the skirt of my outfit.

  I’m in a red lace bodysuit with strategic strips of fabric covering the important parts, and a floor length “skirt” coming out from my hips. The material only covers the sides of my legs and nothing more, so my ass is on display from the thong in the back. I’m calling it a win that I know I look good instead of stressing about letting my flaws show.

  “You look amazing, and I’m sure you’d get lots of offers, but I can’t condone that. I don’t judge what the majority of my patrons do, because that would be hypocritical and if they want to cheat or join in on some fun, that’s all between them and God. You however, are sleeping with my best friend, and I won’t be a party to you cheating on him.”

  “He comes home smelling like other women every night. Every night.”

  He closes his eyes. “Fuck.”

  “I need to be able to compete with whatever he’s getting from someone else. I need him to only want me.”

  “He does.”

  “Just please let me go into the club.”

  “I’ll let you go in, but only with a red anklet. You can watch it all, but I cannot allow anyone else to touch you tonight. If you decide to come back, I’ll instruct my employees to let you wear whatever color you want.”

  “Thank you.”

  He mumbles something about not thanking him yet, but I don’t pry. I just want to get the tips about how to make Guil crazy and get out. I’m too exposed and my emotions are too raw. Honestly, I’m thankful it’s the red anklet he’s putting on me now, because no matter what, I don’t think I could be with anyone but Guil. Even if he’s with other women besides me.

  Calum leads me to the main door of the club, kisses me on the cheek, and wishes me luck. Once I’m inside, I realize why I’m going to need it—the first thing I see is Guil with a group of women surrounding him as he sits on a chair that looks like a throne.

  Chapter 6

  Guil

  I feel her before I see her, but I want to be wrong. When I hear a whispered “wow” from a man facing me, I know I’m not. Turning as I slowly rise to my feet, I’m met with a sight only I should see. No other man or woman should be looking at Lyla in that outfit. I probably don’t deserve to see her in it, but no one else does either.

  Forcing my eyes to hers, I see the tears I’ve once again put there, and it guts me. She shakes her head and turns to run, looking for an escape route. I take the opportunity to get my ass where it needs to be.

  “I can explain,” I say, stepping in front of her.

  “At least I know where you’ve been.”

  “I can explain.”

  They seem to be the only words I’m capable of saying and I’m not sure they’re enough, even though I want them to be. Need them to be. I reach for her, but stop myself.

  “You can’t even touch me? Am I that repulsive to you?”

  “No. I can’t touch you. Not with that red anklet on you. And you know damn well how much I love being with you.”

  “What if I say you can touch me? And I don’t know. Why do you think I’m here? I was trying to find a way to be more exciting for you.”

  I shake my head. “We have strict rules here for a reason, Ly. If I didn’t come in with you, I can’t touch you when you’re wearing red. Even if you say you’ve changed your mind. It’s for your protection.”

  “You have red on.”

  “Yes, and I have since the day you kissed me. And you make me feel better than anyone else ever has.”

  “But you smell like them when you come home,” she says, nodding toward the women who were standing around me.

  “They lean close, hoping I’ll take the bait. I swear to you I never have.”

  “Then why do you come here?”

  I was hoping this could wait, but I know it can’t. “This is my job. My real job. I oversee all of the clubs around the world for Calum.”

  “But we went to dinner with George and Emily. For C&C.”

  “Yes. Miles asked me to help him out, even though the job wasn’t supposed to be real. Since he was helping me out by letting me pretend to work for him, I did it. Now, the job is real. I’m working with George for him.”

  “Why? Why did you lie about your job?”

  “I didn’t think you’d accept me if you knew I ran a bunch of sex clubs.”

  “I deserved that chance.”

  “I know.”

  “So what, you come here and watch all night? Do you get yourself off?” she asks, but then shakes her head. “No. You just get turned on and then come home to me. It’s them turning you on, and not me. Oh God, I’m so stupid, thinking it was me who made you hot.”

  “I watch the employees and the patrons, because there’s no manager at this location right now. Calum’s helping me choose one tonight. And it’s always you who gets me hot, Ly. Just you. I’ve become somewhat immune to all of this,” I tell her, waving my hand behind me.

  “What happens after the new manager is hired?”

  “I stay home until it’s time to do a surprise visit on one of the clubs. I try to do three or four a month.”

  “I came here to learn how to be more exciting to you. I need to know how to do that.”

  Did she not hear anything I said to her? “Jesus, Ly, if you were any more exciting, I’d probably die of a heart attack.”

  “I want to see everything.” I hear the steel in her voice, and know she means it.

  “Okay. Can we go out and link up so I can hold your hand in here? This entire place needs to know I’m the lucky bastard you want.”

  “Yes, but I’m only tying myself to you tonight. I’m still not sure what I’m going to do about all of this.”

  Shit. “I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me.”

  Lyla

  I’m putting on a brave front, while on the inside I’m trying to hold it together. I was having a hard enough time dealing with coming here in lingerie to get sex tips, and now Guil’s telling me he’s seen—and probably done—more stuff than I could even imagine.

  “Back so soon?” Calum asks, smirking at Guil.

  “This isn’t a joke to her, so shut it.”

  “It’s fine.” None of this is fine, but what else can I say right now?

  “Just link us up.”

  Calum’s jaw literally drops open. “You’re going back in?”

  “Yes. She wants to see everything.”

  “Lyla?”

  “I came here for a reason, Calum. That hasn’t changed just because I have a little more information now.”

  “Um, okay. Sure. Let me grab the coder thingy.”

 
“Coder thingy?” I ask, looking at Guil.

  He shrugs. “We love the tech we use, but we don’t really know what to call it all. The device he’s getting is where the night’s anklet info is stored. He’ll use it to link our anklets.”

  “So you can touch me.”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m not going to have sex with you in there.”

  “No.”

  He says it so firmly, and with such finality, I can’t help but be a little hurt and defensive. “You said you wanted them all to know I’m yours.”

  “Without a doubt.”

  “Then why not fuck me in there?”

  “What we do is between us, Ly. If you really want to have sex with me in front of an audience, I’ll do it. But, it won’t be because I want it.”

  “I-I don’t think I could do it in front of people.”

  “Good.”

  “You have.”

  “Yes.”

  “I want to see everything you’ve done.”

  “I’m not sure it’s all going on, but we can look.”

  “How many women?”

  “More than the number of men, but I honestly couldn’t tell you.”

  “Men?”

  “It’s just sex. Sex is sex,” Calum says, coming back into the room with a device in his hand. “Consenting adults are free to give and take pleasure here, and many times gender doesn’t matter.”

  “I get it,” I tell him, because I do. It doesn’t change how I look at either of these men. If you’re not in a relationship, sex really is just sex.

  “You do?” Guil asks, looking truly bewildered.

  “Yes. I don’t care who you were with before me; I just want to be good enough to keep your interest now. Or at least that’s what I wanted when I came her.”

  “That’s not an issue.”

  “To me it is.”

  “You’re all set,” Calum tells us, trying to break the tension that’s seeped back into the room.