The Love Chirp Read online

  WTF? She’s not serious. She can’t be serious. Looking at Dad’s face, I realize she is.

  “Who? Who the fuck said that shit to you?” I rush inside after her.

  “The better question is, who didn’t? You’re the awesome hockey player who’s going to bring the Cup to Seattle, and I’m just the person who pissed you off by wanting you to be comfortable.”

  Fuck. I knew the city was looking at us like we’re the best thing to ever come here, despite most of us not wanting to be here at all. I also know it’s my mouth that got me here, and I have to make it right.

  “I’ll post something.”

  “Save it. Unless you’re all of a sudden behind me and my plans, nothing you say will make it better. Actually, even if you said that now, they’d probably know you were lying.”

  “I’m not going to lie to protect you from some keyboard warriors.” I know the words are the wrong ones even as they’re leaving my mouth, but I don’t stop them. Or even try to take them back. Yeah, I’m an asshole.

  “It’s just me you’re okay with lying to then?”

  I want to say I never lied to her, but that, in itself, would be a lie. It’s just that she thinks I lied about something I didn’t instead of lying to protect her. Not a day has gone by where I haven’t regretted what I did, but it’s too late to take it back or think she’ll forgive me if I tell her the truth. If I could go back and change it, I would. In a fucking heartbeat. I’m older now, and wiser, not a stupid teenager who believed someone I trusted would tell me the truth. But I don’t have a time machine, so I have to live with what I’ve done and just how much it cost me.

  “We can come to a compromise. You don’t really believe the facility needs to be so luxurious, do you?” I lower myself onto the couch, while she sits on the loveseat.

  “Your moms would’ve loved some cushioned seats to sit on and watch you boys practice. My ass is just fine on metal or plastic, but they would’ve appreciated it,” Dad interjects, reminding me whose side he’s been on since it all went down. To say my decision put a strain on my family would be an understatement. Especially after Mom’s choice tore us all apart in the first place.

  Sarai shifts uncomfortably. “Um, well, I didn’t have cushioning on the bleachers, Nelson.”

  “Hm, well, you should add it now that plans are being redone. I’m telling you, the female fans would love you for it,” Dad says, pointing at her.

  “No. Just no.” I wave my hand. “No heated benches for the players and no seats where bleachers should be. We’re doing our fucking job during practice, not putting on a show.”

  Sarai scowls. “What is your problem with heated benches? Don’t you want to be comfortable?”

  “Does your job offer you heated seats?”

  “I work inside, Rock.”

  Rock. The name the world calls me, but she never did when we were together. It grates to hear her say it.

  “The practice rink will be inside,” I counter.

  “On the ice. But fine, if you and your team don’t want heated seats, then no heated seats. Next, you’re going to tell me you don’t want individual shower stalls with multiple shower heads.”

  “Um no, I am not. The other guys would murder me if I did that. The showers are a good call.”

  See? We can totally compromise and make this work. We’ll get done fast, and then, we’ll be gone from each other’s lives again.

  Chapter 3

  Sarai

  * * *

  Rock and I make it through two hours of negotiations with lots of input from his dad, and then mine, who saw my car outside and came to investigate. I was hoping we’d get more things settled, but of course, Rock has to be stubborn and fight me on everything. The fact we compromised on even two things is pretty much a miracle. And if you’d told me even a month ago that I could be in the same room as Neal Roquemore and be okay with it, I’d say you were lying.

  Having Nelson and Dad there definitely helped. They kept Rock in check when he tried to get me to give in. We’ve always loved to fight, and for years, our parents had to mediate. Basically, nothing’s changed, although really, everything has.

  Now, I’m next door, since there’s no way I could come to the neighborhood and not spend time Dad. Especially because it’s been a few weeks since I’ve been here. I need to be a better daughter and visit more often, but it’s hard. The memories are too much most of the time. Memories of Mom and how happy we all were before she left us. Memories of me and my brothers playing and getting on each other’s nerves. And memories of me and Rock.

  The treehouse outside is still there, and so are our initials inside on the trunk. It’s where we held hands for the first time, kissed for the first time, and well, yeah…it was where we had all of our firsts. My heart literally hurts looking at it, and it’s not the only place I have memories of him. I walked down the staircase at this house for dances and parties to find him waiting at the bottom with a smile and some kind of flowers. Always. He always brought me flowers, and they were never the same kind or color because he knew I couldn’t choose a favorite.

  “Sar, are you okay?” Dad asks.

  Shit. I’ve just been standing here, staring off into space. “Oh, yeah. Sorry, Dad.”

  “I understand. I know it’s hard to be here sometimes. It is for me, too.”

  “Then why didn’t you move? You and Nelson aren’t rich, but this neighborhood is really sought after now. You could’ve put them up for sale, and the houses would be sold in less than a day, guaranteed. Especially with how unique they are.”

  I’m not lying. Our houses were custom designed by our parents and built by Dad’s construction company. Nelson is more a sports guy than a builder, but from what I’ve heard over the years, he helped where he could. This neighborhood has really developed over the last few decades, and our side yard backs up to the water, with a dock and everything. What’s not to love?

  “These were built to be our forever homes, and we’re not ready to go yet. When the time comes, I’m hoping you or your brothers will want the house, if I’m being honest.”

  “The guys might.”

  “Not you?” Dad bumps my shoulder with his.

  “Not anymore,” I admit.

  Once, it was my dream. I wanted a house just like this for when Rock and I got married. A house we would fill with love and kids. That all fell apart just like we did when he left me, and now, I can barely stand to be in the house, much less want to live here. No, I gave up on fairytales a long time ago.

  Dad and I don’t dig too deep the rest of the night because we both know neither of us is okay. Heartbreak is a bitch, and I wouldn’t wish her on my worst enemy. So instead, we eat takeout and watch “The Mandalorian,” and it’s all good. Or at least, we can pretend it is.

  I decline Dad’s invitation to stay over and make my way home when I’m tired. My apartment is where I can escape the demons of the past. Or at least, one demon in particular.

  Neal Roquemore wasn’t supposed to ever be part of my life again. Not after everything imploded into ugly shards that broke the bonds our families had woven for years. Yes, our dads are still friends, and our brothers, too. But, before today, it had been ten years since we’d been in one of the houses together. Ten years of never spending holidays together as families and arrangements being made by other people to keep us apart, just the way we wanted it.

  Who am I kidding? I never wanted it. But I accepted it because I knew I wouldn’t survive breathing the same air as him again. Yet, here I am, having to work with him. See him. Breathe him in. And no, I still don’t think I’ll survive.

  Rock

  * * *

  I could’ve let her have more wins today. I could’ve compromised more, and yet, I know why I didn’t. The faster we come to an agreement, the faster Sarai will run from me like the Devil himself is chasing her. And the crazy thing is, I just might chase her. I might finally give in to what I’ve wanted my whole life and try to win her back.

  Would it be easy? No. Would I have to beg and plead for forgiveness? Oh, yeah. Would she make me explain why I did what I did? One thousand percent…and that’s why it won’t happen. I can’t tell her why, and she won’t settle for anything less than the truth.

  So, here I am at a club with my teammates, pretending to be interested in the women dancing around us in the VIP section, when all I want is the woman I can’t have.

  “How did your first meeting with the architect go?” Bobby asks me. He’s moved around a little and played on my former team with me for a couple of years before being traded again. I wouldn’t say we’re “close” exactly, but we’re friends.

  “All right,” I tell him with a shrug.

  “I saw her picture on TV, and she’s smoking.”

  I want to punch my friend, even though he’s not wrong. “She is.”

  “So, what I’m getting from this I that you didn’t pour on the charm. I’m shocked,” Stone Andrews says, clutching his chest. Asshole.

  He was an even bigger prick than me on the ice. He’s settled down now, with an actual princess, which is just as crazy as it sounds. We dropped gloves a few times but being thrown onto a team you didn’t want to be on makes you friends. Or something like it.

  “My charm wouldn’t work on her,” I admit.

  Not now, at least. At one time, I didn’t even have to think about being charming around her. She was just my everything, and I showed her that every minute we were together.

  “Smart girl,” Bobby says.

  “Yeah, she was. And now, she’s a fucking amazing woman, despite the stupid stuff she thinks we need.”

  “Wait, you know her?”

  “We grew up next door to each other. Our dads are best friends, and her brothers used to be mine.”

  I don’t mention our moms, and I don’t say anything about how Sarai and I were together officially when she turned fourteen and I was fifteen. Or that my heart had belonged to her from the time I realized it could be owned by someone. I honestly can’t remember a time when I didn’t love her. I don’t say any of this, but he picks up on it anyway.

  “Whoa. She’s the reason you’ve never had a relationship, isn’t she?”

  “Yes, and she’s also the reason I’m not real happy with our ‘fans’ right now. I won’t stand for anyone going after like this. It’s just a damn building.”

  There’s no point in lying because there’s no way I’m going to be able to hide it while being around her all the time. I should probably just cave and let her do what she wants, but no one would respect me if I make an about-face all of a sudden. I got myself into this mess, and somehow, I have to get myself—and Sarai—out of it.

  “Good luck with that,” Stone tells me, before heading out early to get home to his princess.

  I give him a chin lift in return, then down my drink. I meant what I said, though. No one better fucking lay a hand on her, or I’m going to jail.

  Chapter 4

  Sarai

  * * *

  I probably shouldn’t be here at the fan event downtown, but I was too curious—and too proud of Rock—to stay away. All he ever dreamed of is having people want to see him play hockey. He’s been doing it for several years, but not here where we grew up. It’s awesome to see little kids with his sweater on, and not so awesome to see women wearing his name and number. But I had to see it, even if seeing him hurts.

  Despite trying to stay on the edge of the crowd, there are so many people here, I get pushed to the middle.

  “Hey, you’re that architect lady!” someone yells, and within moments, I’m surrounded.

  Shit. This was definitely not a good idea.

  People start yelling and pushing me, and while I consider myself a pretty tough chick most of the time, I’m terrified right now. I try looking around for help and catch a glimpse of someone jumping over a table. All of a sudden, bodies get shoved aside, and Rock is here. He lifts me into his arms before turning to address the crowd.

  “What is wrong with you? It’s a fucking building! You’re going to hurt her over a building? Seriously?”

  “You hate her, too!” a woman yells.

  “No. I’ve loved her for most of my life, actually. We may disagree about the training facility, but I would never want harm to come to her. And I’ll come for anyone who lays a hand on her, I can promise you that.”

  Everyone goes quiet around us, wondering if he really just said what he did? I’m wondering if I’m dreaming myself. Only, if I were dreaming, I wouldn’t be shaking and my teeth wouldn’t be chattering, would they?

  “Rock?”

  “Let’s get you to the team bus. They have food. You need food, Sar. And blankets.”

  “We need to talk,” I insist. He can’t just say he loves me and pretend like it’s nothing. Like he’s never said those words to me before and then walked away from me like I was nothing to him.

  “I know, but I have to come back and sign stuff and play nice for another hour. Not that I want to see those vultures right now.”

  I want to remind him he did this—he started the war against me—but I don’t. He had no idea it would get like this. He didn’t expect people to physically threaten me, even though I told him I got online threats. He thought it was just people saying things they wouldn’t act on. I hoped it was just that, but I can’t say I haven’t been a little scared when I’m walking alone somewhere. I thought I’d be safe in a public place, with a bunch of people and media around, but I was just being naïve. I do know that no matter what happened with us, he wouldn’t want me berated or physically harmed.

  “Thank you for saving me.”

  “I wouldn’t ever let anyone hurt you. You know that.”

  No, I don’t know that. Not when he hurt me more than I thought anyone ever could and never looked back. But even though he means physically and not mentally, I’m not going to be ungrateful about his help right now.

  He carries me back behind the building and onto a luxury motorcoach. It has a fewer seats than a regular bus and some actual couches, where he sets me down so I can lie back. I’m still shaking, so I rub my arms.

  “Can you get her a blanket?” Rock asks, and I look up to see a woman coming down the aisle from the back.

  “Of course. You need to get back out there, Rock. I’ll take care of your friend.”

  He looks like he wants to argue, even though he already told me he has to go back.

  “Go,” I tell him.

  Yeah, we need to talk, but this isn’t the time. I won’t let it go, though. How can I? He just claimed to still love me, and it’s not okay. I’m not okay.

  Once he leaves, I accept a blanket and some tea from Diana, his personal assistant, and she tells me she’ll bring me anything I need.

  “I’m good, thank you.”

  I sip my tea and huddle under my blanket until my eyes start to close. I’m crashing because of the adrenaline and craziness, so I embrace the darkness when it comes, letting everything else float away for just a little bit.

  Rock

  * * *

  I told everyone I love Sarai. It’s out there, and it’s what people want to talk about. It’s what the media wants to talk about. But they aren’t who I need to be discussing it with. I give noncommittal answers and just brush off questions because it’s no one’s business. They can have my hockey, they can have my body on billboards and in magazines, but they don’t get my heart.

  “She’s sleeping,” Diana tells me softly when I finally break free of everyone and get back to the bus. The other guys are still soaking up the adoration, but I’m done playing nice for today.

  “Thanks for taking care of her.”

  “You need to fix this, Rock. It’s your image of being a tough guy that helped fuel what happened out there. The men want you to be their best friend and the woman want to fuck you.”

  “You’re saying it like it’s something new.”

  “What’s ‘new’ is Sarai and people coming for her because they think it will get them to you,” she says, hands on her hips.

  Diana is the epitome of those signs about being small but fierce. She’s barely five foot, yet she runs us all as though she’s a towering Amazonian. Yes, I let her do it. So do the other guys she does one-off jobs for sometimes. She’s awesome at her job, and we all respect her. But right now, she’s making me feel smaller than her, and I don’t like it.

  “I don’t know what to do. I thought it was all talk. Do I just go along with everything she wants and tell people I was wrong?”

  “No. Tanking your image as a tough guy isn’t the answer. You’re just going to have to show them you respect her. Telling the world you love her was a good start. Now, you’ve got to let your actions match your words.”

  She’s right, but there’s just one problem—I can’t do that. I can’t show anyone, including Sarai, how much I love her. Doing that won’t protect her from me and all the hurt being with me will cause her.

  “I’m going to Uber back to my car. Please take care of Sarai for me and make sure she gets home okay.”

  “What? Rock? Are you kidding?”

  “No, Diana, I’m not.”

  She’s still sputtering when I walk out, but I ignore her. I’m going to pay for that later, but right now, I just need to escape before I do something stupid like ask Sarai for another chance.

  Chapter 5

  Rock

  * * *

  Just because training camp doesn’t start for a few weeks, I can’t just lie around and be lazy. I’ve been doing weights and cardio all summer, and since I’ve been back in Seattle, I’ve also been skating every morning. Of course, I’m using Dad’s rink , and I have keys so I can be here when it’s empty. Sprints and drills aren’t exactly fun to do alone, but my ego likes the break from chirping.