Devouring the SECRET (Corrigan & Co. Book 2) Read online

  “I slept with him.”

  “Him?”

  “Gavin. I slept with Gavin the night of the Foundation ball. I didn’t know who he was.”

  “Seriously? You don’t have one night stands, and you’ve never mentioned him.”

  “I know. I was just tired from back to back missions and fake catering jobs. I wanted to relax and feel good for once. It was better than good, and he made me an amazing breakfast before he left in the morning. I didn’t say anything because I was embarrassed. I’m usually the one who’s most in control.”

  “Before he left? You took him to your apartment?”

  “Yes, Cyndi. I felt safe there. Since I didn’t know who he was, or…”

  “Or what?”

  Oh God. This is mortifying. But I have to tell them. “I didn’t know his name until the next morning.”

  I drop my head into my hands and groan. Cyndi pats me on the back.

  “We’ve all been there, dear. It’s just unfortunate that it was Gavin who you chose to finally let loose with.” Her phone starts ringing, and she smiles when she looks down. “Well, well, well. Look who’s calling. Hello, Gavin,” she says as she answers. “Yes. She’s right here with me.”

  I shake my head no, but take the phone when Reina gives me her “boss” look. We’re good friends, but she’s the boss first. She has to be. I take the phone from Cyndi and put it to my ear.

  “Hello.”

  “Don’t hang up, Faith. Please.”

  “Okay.”

  “Take the job.”

  “I can’t. You know I can’t.”

  “It was just one night. We’re both adults. This doesn’t need to be a problem.”

  That’s how he feels? He’s over it? I square my shoulders. Well, if he can do it, so can I.

  “Fine. It’s not a problem, and you’re right, the night meant nothing. I’ll take the job.”

  “Good. Can you be here at nine tomorrow morning?”

  “I thought I was only going to be there for show. That’s what your mother said.”

  “What my mother says, and what I actually want, are generally two very different things. I ate your food at the ball, and there’s no way in hell that I’m going to have you work for us, but not cook.”

  “I can be there at nine.”

  “I’ll see you then. Oh, and Faith.”

  “Yes?”

  “Wear your hair up, please.”

  He hangs up before I can respond. I drop the phone on the table and bang my head on it. This is going to be bad. Really bad. I already know that my heart’s not going to make it out of this mission in one piece, but I’m hoping my soul survives.

  * * *

  Gavin

  I hang up the phone and slide down the wall to sit on the floor. I lied to Faith. What we shared wasn’t just a one night thing. She’s the first thing I think about when I wake up every morning and the last face I see when I fall asleep. Let’s not even get started on the dreams I have about her.

  I shouldn’t have hired her. I know it’s a bad idea, for more than one reason. But I had to. I want her. That’s an even worse idea. Yes, I control the purse strings since my father left me everything in his will, but my mother still has an emotional hold on me. One I haven’t been able to break in 27 years. I don’t see that changing anytime soon, even though Faith makes me want to break the bonds that are holding me back. It’s kind of funny when I think about it; she needs me to make her lose control, and I need her to gain it.

  “Gavin, are you in there?”

  I jump to my feet and open the pool house door. “Where else would I be, Mother?”

  “Well, I was hoping you’d be with Elizabeth. She told me that she invited you to lunch today. She’s a perfect match for you.”

  “No. She really isn’t.”

  “You know how important projecting the right image is. For our family and my career.”

  “I’m not going to do this forever. Be the doll that you put on display to help you win votes. Shouldn’t what I want matter?”

  “You don’t know what you want, Gavin.”

  “Actually, I do. I know exactly what I want. And I think it’s about time I start going after it.”

  “Don’t be foolish.”

  “You’re going to be condescending to me? Really? I could walk out that door right now and stop paying all your bills.”

  “You wouldn’t do that to me. You love me too much to leave me with nothing.”

  That’s the crux of my whole fucked up life. I love my mother. And we both know she’s right. My father left me everything because he hated her by the time he died. Hated that she’d become the Stepford version of a politician’s wife instead of the wild and fun woman he’d married. When he died, she took his Senate seat, and it’s only gotten worse. She’s only gotten worse.

  “I do love you. But I can’t live like this anymore.”

  “I know I expect a lot.”

  “You expect perfection.”

  “I just want you to be the best you can be.”

  “The best I can be is who I want to be. The real me. Not the ‘me’ you’ve created for the world to see. I don’t want to fake it anymore.”

  “You’re right.” She slumps in the chair and holds her head in her hands.

  “I am? I mean, I know I am, but I didn’t expect you to give in so easily.”

  “I’m so sorry. I am. I lost who I was long ago, but you deserve to have what you want. I’ve turned myself into someone I would’ve steered clear of when I was younger. It’s time I started being the ‘real’ me, too. Will you help me?” I smile as I kneel next to her and take her hand. “What is it that you want, Gav?”

  “I want everyone to know I’m a chef. And I want to date who I want. Most of all, I want to be able to call you ‘Mom’ and have you love me, no matter what I choose.”

  “I could never stop loving you. We’ll tell everyone at the party on Saturday that you’re the chef. And you can bring whomever you’d like.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” I mean it, but I’m also a little wary. This is just too easy. I’ll take what I can get for now, though.

  “At least we didn’t hire that Faith girl.”

  “Actually, I did. She’ll be here tomorrow.”

  “Well call her back. You’re all we need in the kitchen.”

  “No, I’m not. I tasted her food at the Corrigan ball. She’s amazing. We’ll work well together.”

  “In just the kitchen?”

  “I hope not.”

  “Are you the reason she turned down the job initially?”

  “Yes. We were together after the ball. She didn’t know who I was until this morning.”

  “Well, I’m sure she’ll look beautiful on your arm on Saturday.”

  “I’m not sure that’s an option. Yet. She’s not impressed with who I am, and I led her to believe that the night we spent together meant nothing to me.”

  “This is going to be fun.”

  “For you, maybe.”

  “Definitely for me, and maybe for her. Now I better head back to the house. I have some speeches to plan. I’m not sure my constituents will be ready for the real me, but they’re getting her whether they like it or not.”

  “Go get ‘em.”

  “I will, if you promise to go after your girl.”

  “You’re going to help, right?”

  “Possibly. First I need to sit back and watch you try on your own. I’ve groomed you to take on society women, which won’t serve you well with Faith. But I think there’s enough of your father in you to figure out how to capture her heart.”

  I hope she’s right. I still can’t believe she caved so easily. I guess the weight of trying to be perfect was getting too hard for her. I’m glad. Now I just need to make my plan of attack. Because I’m pretty sure winning over Faith is going to be harder than if I’d joined the Army and gone to war.

  * * *

  Faith

  I’m nervous as I walk up to the Harris
mansion. Gavin’s in there, and I have to pretend like the night we spent together means nothing to me. That he means nothing to me. I know I’ve had training in how to handle all kinds of situations, but I didn’t really pay attention to the ones having to do with sex. I honestly never thought I’d need those lessons since “control” is practically my middle name. Or at least it used to be until I met Gavin.

  I take a deep breath and ring the doorbell. I’m shocked when instead of a maid, it’s Senator Harris who opens the door. And even more shocking, she’s in jeans and a t-shirt.

  “Hi Faith. It’s great to see you again.”

  Okay. Maybe she has a twin? I read the file last night, and it didn’t say she had a twin, but this can’t be her.

  “Hello, Senator Harris. It’s, umm, nice to see you too.”

  She laughs a full body laugh that has her head falling back. I retreat down the steps, but stop when Gavin fills the doorway.

  “You’re scaring her, Mom.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. I guess the casual me will take some getting used to.”

  “It’s really you?”

  “Did you think I’d been replaced by an alien?”

  “Secret twin, actually.”

  “Which would be the sane thought. Aliens? Really?”

  “What? I was watching Man of Steel when the doorbell rang.”

  “Of course you were.”

  My mouth is opening and closing. I don’t know what to say, or if I’m even supposed to speak. The dynamic between the two of them is nothing like what I saw yesterday. Neither one of them were casual or relaxed. In fact, I thought they hated each other from how they acted. Now they’re hugging in front of me.

  This is just too weird. I turn and start to walk back to my car. Gavin’s in front of me before I reach it. He’s smiling at me as he blocks my path.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Home. I mean, this is just weird.”

  “Yeah. I guess it would look that way from the outside.”

  “What’s it look like from the inside?”

  “My mom and I had a talk yesterday. We both decided that we should be who we really are and stop trying to be people we’re not.”

  “That’s great. I’m happy for you. It must’ve been hard to pretend all the time.” I know how hard it is, but I wouldn’t trade my job for anything.

  “It was.”

  “So I guess you don’t need me here anymore. To pretend to be your chef.” Reina will just have to figure something else out.

  “I was never going to pretend with you. I want to cook with you. It would’ve always been both of us.”

  “Why me, Gavin?”

  “What you did at the ball was amazing. And what we did after the ball? Well, there’s no words for that.”

  “I thought this was just about cooking.”

  “It’s about whatever you want. If that’s just cooking, I’ll take a bunch of cold showers. But if you want more, I’d be very, very happy.”

  I do want more, but I know that’s not a good idea. I’m not completely ready to close the door, though. “Let’s start with cooking, and then, we’ll see.”

  “Deal,” he says before reaching for the back of my neck and pulling my mouth to his.

  This isn’t a sweet peck on the cheek. It’s sexy, passionate, and all kinds of wrong. I know I should stop it. Stop him. But I don’t. I can’t. I’ve dreamt of having his lips and tongue again, and I’m powerless to give them up. He pulls away before I can bring myself to do it.

  “Let’s go make a grocery list.”

  He starts to walk away, but I grab his arm.

  “What was that, Gavin? You said we had a deal.”

  “We do. I won’t kiss you again unless you ask me to. I just needed that taste of you to hold me over.”

  Asshole. “You’ll be waiting the rest of your life,” I tell him as I walk towards the house.

  “I told you this would be fun, Gav,” the Senator says as I pass her.

  “Shut up, Mom.”

  * * *

  Gavin

  The last twenty-four hours have been pretty surreal. When my mom said she wanted to go back to being the person she really is, I thought it would take her some time. But it didn’t. We ate in the kitchen last night instead of the formal dining room. And today she’s even wearing a t-shirt and jeans today that aren’t designer. She said that her public speech is almost done, and I can’t wait. I’m not worried about people’s reactions to the change. If they don’t like it, too bad.

  I am worried about how I’m going to get Faith to let me kiss her again. I said I’d wait for her, but that might just kill me. I never thought it’d be possible to die of sexual frustration, but now it’s a real fear for me.

  “Are you okay, Gavin? You look upset.”

  No, I’m not fucking okay, I think as I grip the kitchen island even tighter. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “You don’t look fine. Is it the recipes I suggested?”

  “What? No. I can’t wait to try them with you.” And that’s a big part of the problem.

  “Great. Should we make your mother something for lunch?”

  I can’t cook with her. I can’t. How did I think this was a good idea? Oh yeah, I thought we’d pick up where we left off that morning in her apartment. For some idiotic reason, I thought she’d want me as much as I want her. In and out of the kitchen.

  “She wants a burger and fries. I’m sure you can handle that alone.”

  “Yeah. I can. Are you angry at me?”

  “No, Faith. I’m angry at myself.”

  “Do you want to talk about it or are should I just expect to have to work with you like this all day?”

  She doesn’t deserve this. I’m acting like a spoiled child who had his favorite toy taken away. I need to get myself under control. “No. I can’t talk about it. You shouldn’t be forced to be with me when I’m like this. I’m going to go try and sort myself out.”

  “That’s a good idea. Let me know if there’s something I can do to help you.”

  She’s the only one who can. “I will.”

  “Oh, before you go. I forgot to ask if I should be wearing something specific. This is my normal uniform, but I’m not sure if it’s okay.”

  That custom black coat trimmed in deep red, loose black pants, and black clogs are doing things to me that they shouldn’t. I’ve been telling my brain for the past hour to remember that, but it’s not working. She’s sexy as fuck.

  “What you’re wearing is fine.”

  “And my hair—it’s okay like this?”

  If I didn’t see the anxiety in her eyes, I’d think she was really trying to kill me. Her hair is mostly up in braids wrapped around her head, but a few pieces are hanging down, tempting me. I won’t ever forget how good it felt to hold onto those sexy strands or feel them on my bare chest. I think I may actually have a fetish now. But only for Faith’s hair. I drop my head onto the island.

  “Gavin, please tell me what I can do to help you. You’re scaring me a little.”

  I lift my head to meet her eyes. “You really want to help me?”

  “Of course. Just tell me what you need,” she says as she comes to stand next to me, resting her hand on my arm.

  “I need you to ask me to kiss you Faith. Please ask me to kiss you.”

  Her eyes widen, and instead of answering, she leans forward and touches her mouth to mine. It’s just a small swipe of her mouth against mine, but I feel myself relaxing immediately. She does it over and over again. Just little kisses that soothe my body and soul. I force myself to keep my hands where they are, resisting the urge to grab her and devour her mouth. She’s giving me this gift, and I won’t screw it up.

  She pulls back a little, just enough to tickle my lips when she speaks. “You’re not participating. Did you not really want this?”

  “Oh, I want your mouth. Believe me, I want your mouth. But you haven’t given me permission yet.”

  “Not so good at
non-verbal cues, are you?”

  “You saying you want me to take control, chef?”

  Before she can answer, we’re interrupted. “Well, that didn’t take long. I thought you’d make my son work harder for it. I’m actually a little disappointed, Faith.”

  Faith jumps back and walks to one of the refrigerators, pulling out ingredients for lunch. Her hands are shaking a little. I’m going to kill my mother.

  “What did you want, Mother?”

  “Oh we’re back to ‘mother’ now, huh?”

  “Yes. Yes, we are.”

  She laughs, and to my surprise, Faith joins in. “I thought you had more self-confidence than this, Gav. I mean, my little interruption shouldn’t be a big deal. You can go back to what you were doing after I leave. Although, I would suggest that if you’re taking things further, you should probably go to the pool house. I don’t need the rest of the staff to be scandalized.”

  “Ha. As if anything would scandalize your staff. I’ve caught them all in compromising positions on more than one occasion.”

  “As have I. Although, I probably scared them while they offered you a chance to join in.”

  “Mom!”

  “Well, didn’t they?”

  “Maybe.”

  “I don’t share. Just putting that out there,” Faith says over her shoulder as she starts cooking the burger.

  “Neither do I. Just because someone asks me something, doesn’t mean I’ll do it.”

  She turns then, smirking at me. “So, if I asked you something, you wouldn’t do it?”

  “I’d do anything you asked me to.”

  “Anything?” she asks as she licks her lips. Fuck.

  “Yes, anything,” I managed to croak out.

  “Great. I need the potatoes peeled.”

  “Wh-what?”

  “The potatoes need to be peeled so I can fry them. You just said you’d do whatever I asked. Or did you just mean sexual things?”

  I’m stuck and I know it. She’s good. I’ll give her that. But I’m better. If she wants to play, she better be prepared. “How many would you like, chef?”

  “Surprise me.”