Training the SECRET (Corrigan & Co #6) Read online

“Don’t thank me until after we deal with Brent. It’s my fault he’s here, and I intend to make him see the error of his ways, or make him see the door.”

  “Let’s just hope he’s come to his senses. Aiden told Ellie that he hasn’t found anything yet.”

  “I know. I already called Scott and bitched his ass out for recommending the asshole, so he’s on it, too.”

  “We’ll get this all sorted out, you’ll fight, and then we can go home.”

  “That’s the plan.”

  Which I know will probably not go exactly like we want it to, but I’m hoping for at least a partially good outcome. Which still may be too optimistic, but I’ve got to have some hope, and even somefaith in us both. Because the only other option is to walk away from her, and I’m not strong enough for that.

  Chapter 12

  Nate

  Jade and I are waiting for Brent in the office at the gym. Aiden and Ellie are downstairs, but we thought it would be best if just the two of us had this conversation with him. Neither one of us knows what to expect, but we’re both hoping for another apology, and some kind of promise that he’s come to his senses. Because without that, he’s gone, and we’re stuck here. I love Jade, and I’ll stay here as long as she needs me to, but I want to take her home.

  The door opens, and Jade squeezes my hand. I know she talked to her therapist, and while neither of them could figure out why Brent is a trigger for her, the doctor told her to be careful around him because he obviously is. Since she’s never going to be alone with him again as long as I have a say in it, careful isn’t going to be an issue.

  Brent seems a little nervous—but still cocky—as he walks in. He looks down at our linked hands, and I see his jaw clench. If he starts any shit again, it’s going to get ugly. I’m going to sit back and let her lead again, but I will hurt the bastard if he steps out of line.

  “What do you need to hear, Jade?”

  “Seriously? You don’t know what you need to say?”

  “I already apologized yesterday.”

  “If you were sincere, you’d have done it again the moment you walked in.”

  “I’m not going to get on my knees for you unless it’s in a different context,” he says with a smirk.

  I’m off the couch before I can even think about it. Jade pulls on my hand and when I look at her she shakes her head. “He’s not worth it. Let him say what he wants, and then he can get the fuck out.” I sit back down, and glare at him, wanting to punch him more than I’ve ever wanted to hit another person in my life.

  “Out? You need me.”

  “Not if you’re going to be disrespectful towards me, I don’t. You told me once that you expected me to act professionally. I expect the same from you.”

  “Yet you have your boyfriend in here with you.”

  “After yesterday, I will never be alone with you in a room. For any reason.”

  “I wouldn’t kiss you again—unless you wanted me to.”

  “I will never want that, Brent. You need to understand and accept that.”

  “You’re that sure?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then I am again sorry for yesterday, and can assure you that it won’t happen again.”

  “I accept your apology, and you can keep your job here.”

  “Great. The two of you can clear out so I can get back to work. Missing most of yesterday put me behind on some things.”

  “After you tell us who Nate is fighting, you can do whatever you need to.”

  “I said that I would tell you next week.”

  “As your boss, I’m telling you that I want to know now.”

  “You’re pulling the boss card?”

  “That card is always pulled. Just because I’ve let you ignore it doesn’t mean it’s not in play.”

  “His training is going well, so why does it matter who he’ll be fighting?”

  “It matters because you won’t tell us,” I say.

  “What if I refuse? I just don’t think it’s necessary.”

  “Again, you know where the door is,” Jade tells him. I can see that she’s not going to back down, and he should realize it, too. “Please use it if you need to.”

  “Fine. You’re fighting your old friend, Alberto Rujas.”

  My mouth drops open, and my throat goes dry. This can’t be happening. I can’t fight Al. I can’t. I got out of our old life, but he’s still in it. I left him behind, and I won’t fight to win against him. I can’t do that to him. I just simply can’t.

  “I won’t win against him.”

  “Of course you will. You’re a better fighter,” Brent says.

  “But I won’t.”

  A knowing smile comes over his face. “You’re going to throw a fight for an old friend, even if it means that your girl will lose me as a manager? You’re choosing him over her?”

  “It’s not like that.” And it isn’t. There is no choice for me. I love Jade, but I know what will happen to Al if he loses. I won’t be the cause of that.

  “Then please enlighten us. What is it like?”

  “I don’t answer to you, Brent. It’s none of your business.”

  “It’s Jade’s business you’re putting in jeopardy.”

  He’s right, and we all know it. I can’t do this, though. I just can’t. I knew this fight would bring up old demons, but not the demon herself. The thought of fighting Al, of beating Al so he’s at her mercy, is more than I can take. But so is disappointing Jade. There is no easy solution here, and something tells me that Brent knows that.

  “You know don’t you?”

  “Know what?” he asks, and I see it in his eyes. Bastard.

  “You know about my past.”

  “Of course I do. You don’t run in my circles without knowing.”

  “So you set this all upon purpose. You did this to try and destroy me. Do you think she’ll go to you for comfort once she knows? Is that what you’re hoping for?”

  “Partly, yes. You’re vile and disgusting. She should know that.”

  “That’s enough. If you ever talk to him like that again, it will be me you have to deal with,” Jade says, standing up and in front of me.

  “Letting your girlfriend defend you sounds about right.”

  “I have to get out of here.”

  “You’re going to miss training because your feelings are hurt? I always knew you were weak.”

  “It’s weak to pretend that you don’t have fears and insecurities, it’s not weak to embrace them. I learned that a long time ago, and one day you will, too. Hopefully before it’s too late.”

  “Where are you going?” Jade asks me.

  “Just somewhere to clear my head.”

  “Call me, okay?”

  “I will. I love you, Angel.”

  “I love you too, Soldier.” I lean down and kiss her, trying to let her know that I hate to disappoint her. “You’re not letting me down. No matter what you choose to do, I’ll always support you.”

  * * *

  Jade

  It’s been two days since Nate walked out of the gym. He calls me at least once a day to let me know he’s alive. From the sound of things, I can tell that he’s barely surviving, and I don’t know what to do. I’ve told him that it’s okay if he wants to quit the match, or let his friend win, but that seems to make him even more upset. I’m not sure how to get through to him, and I’m also not sure what’s going to happen with the gym.

  We’ve been carrying on like it’s business as usual, but everyone has noticed that Nate is gone. People think he’s left me. I’ve actually been hit on by a few of the fighters, and the women who come in here all give me pitying—or smug—looks. I can admit that it hurts a little to know that all these people think I couldn’t keep his interest, but I’ll never tell him that. He would come back. I know in my heart that he would, and I love him too much to make him do that.

  I need to know what Brent knows, but I can’t ask him. Or rather, I won’t. I know he wants me to, so he
can lord it over Nate. I kind of hate him for it, but I have to admit that he’s doing a great job where the gym is concerned. I can ignore him, and I won’t see him much after the fight. I won’t ask him what I need to know, though. There’s someone else I can ask, though. I want Nate to tell me, but I’m realizing that he simply can’t.

  I feel a little like a traitor as I dial Heath’s cell, and I also feel like this will somehow come back to bite me in the ass, but I need to know. He answers on the third ring. “Hey, Jade.”

  “Hi.”

  “What’s up?”

  “I need to ask you something.”

  “About your dad? He’s doing great, and the ladies here are all awesome.”

  “No. It’s about Nate.”

  There’s silence on the other end of the line. I don’t think he’s going to say anything. “You should ask him, Jade.”

  “I would if I could.”

  “Communication is an important part of any relationship. If you can’t talk, then maybe you should walk.”

  “Nice rhyme. But seriously, and you cannot tell my dad this, when Brent told us who Nate’s fighting, he freaked out and left. He calls me, so I know he’s physically okay, but something’s wrong. I don’t want to ask Brent, so I’m asking you.”

  “Who’s he fighting?”

  “Alberto Rujas.”

  “Shit. That’s bad, Jade. Really bad. What did Nate say before he left?”

  “He said that he wouldn’t beat him. Not that he couldn’t, but he wouldn’t.”

  “I get that.”

  “Then tell me, so I can, too.”

  He sighs, and I can feel the weight of what he’s carrying through the phone. “I’m going to give you a name. You can find a number for her yourself, I’m sure. Just know that there’s no going back once you call.”

  “What do I say when I call?”

  “Tell her you want to meet about Nate Anderson. Say that you’re his manager.”

  “And then, what? I go meet her at her office?”

  “She doesn’t have an office, and you have her come to you. Do not go to her. It’s important that you keep control of the meeting, no matter what you hear. She’s going to be looking for weakness, because that’s what she preys on.”

  “If she can meet me today, I’ll make Brent leave early. I don’t want him here.”

  “Smart girl. Her name is Cecile Deveraux. The rest is up to you.”

  “Thanks, Heath.”

  “You may not be saying that when you learn the truth—or at least her part of it—but I think you need to know at least that part in Nate’s history.”

  “Don’t tell my dad.”

  “I’ll give you until tomorrow, but I do have to tell him. He’s more than my boss.”

  “I know, and again, thanks.”

  I hang up with him, and message the name to Ainsley, asking her to find me contact information. She gets back to me within minutes, and I take a deep breath before dialing. The phone rings so much that I think no one will answer, but she does.

  “Hello.”

  “Ms. Deveraux?”

  “Madame Deveraux, yes.”

  She has no accent, so I don’t know why she’s pulling this French crap, but whatever. “My name is Jade Garrett, and I am representing Nate Anderson in his upcoming fight. I would like to meet with you if possible.”

  “Nate wants back in?”

  “Possibly.”

  “You can come by my home today.”

  “No. You can come to my office at three this afternoon. Garrett’s Gym. See you then.”

  I hang up before she can say anything else. I’m taking what Heath said about keeping control to heart. I’m scared, so scared, of what I’ll learn, but I have to know. I need the information in order to save Nate, which is all that matters to me right now.

  Chapter 13

  Nate

  I feel like such a coward, running away from Jade—and the fight. I know I need to go back, but I also know what that means. I need to tell her about Cecile. About how she saved me, and also destroyed me, all at once. There’s more she needs to know, but I can hold off on that for a little bit longer. I shouldn’t wait, but I’m taking one demon at a time. Cecile is the baddest, but she doesn’t own the secret that will cost me Jade. Just the one that will make her look at me with disgust—or pity. I’m not sure which will be worse.

  Because I’m such a bastard, I call my girl, knowing this may be one of the last times we’ll have a “normal” talk. The call goes to voicemail, but I don’t leave one. She’ll see my missed call, and call me back. Which she does a few minutes later.

  “Hi, Angel.”

  “Hey. Sorry I couldn’t pick up. I was talking to Heath.”

  “Is your dad okay?”

  “Yeah. The medicine they have him on is working, and resting is helping him, too.”

  “You haven’t told him that I left.”

  “No. I need him to be stress-free.”

  “I know. I shouldn’t have left.”

  “I won’t say it’s okay that you did, because I never want to be apart from you, but I need for you to do whatever you have to in order to be okay with your choice.”

  “I haven’t chosen. I’ve been working out every day. Not like I do there, but still.”

  “Leaving was a choice, Nate.”

  I hear the pain in her voice, and it slices right through me. “I swear to you that it wasn’t. I just needed to think.”

  “Without me.”

  “That’s not how it is. I didn’t take Aiden with me, or call Matt to be here. It’s not you I’m trying to get away from.”

  “Don’t lie to me. I can take almost anything else, but please don’t lie. You didn’t take Aiden because you wanted him here to watch over me. And you didn’t call Matt, because like the rest of us, you want his marriage to Reina to work out. So you won’t ask him to leave her side. It’s me you left, and I’m trying to be okay about that and not make you feel bad or guilty. So please don’t lie.”

  “I was running from a secret, and yes, from you. Because I can’t bear to think about how you’re going to look at me once you know.”

  “I’ll look at you the way I always look at you—like the man I love. It doesn’t matter what you did in your past. That’s the past, Nate. What I can’t deal with is the shit you’re pulling now. And I should probably hang up before I say more, because there’s no going back once I put it out there.”

  “You can say anything to me, any time. Yell, scream, curse me, but never hold back what you’re feeling.”

  “So you can resent me because I asked you to fight and now I want to ask you to come home to me so my bed isn’t cold and empty every morning?”

  “You didn’t ask me to fight, but you could’ve. You could also ask me to come back, but that’s what it would be—asking. The answer would be up to me so how could I possibly resent you?”

  “You will. Maybe not consciously, but your subconscious will know.”

  “Bullshit. I’m coming home tonight, and that’s my choice.”

  “You’re coming home because I’m being needy.”

  “No. I’m coming home because waking up alone again tomorrow would be almost worse than anything else I could imagine in life. I need you, Angel. I know I’ve hurt you, and I have so much I owe it to you to tell you. The least I can do—for both of us—is come back to you.”

  That’s the truth, but then again it’s not. I need to tell her about Cecile. I can’t tell her why I needed to go to Cecile, but I can tell her that. I have to. I just hope I’m strong enough to survive saying the words she needs to hear, because she’s not the only one who’s suffered from PTSD, and mine isn’t from a war, either.

  “For how long this time?”

  Fuck if I don’t deserve that. “Forever if you’ll have me.”

  “Which means until the rest of what you’re hiding from me is revealed.”

  “It will be you that leaves when that happens.”

&n
bsp; “Then maybe you should tell me now. It will hurt more if you come back, and then things blow up again.”

  “I should tell you, but I can’t.”

  “How are we supposed to have a relationship if you can’t trust me enough to know everything about you?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Do you want this? Do you really want me?”

  “A million times, yes. And then yes again.”

  “Well then get your ass back here, and show me.”

  “If I leave now, I should make it back around seven.”

  She’s quiet for almost a minute, but then she speaks. “I have a meeting at three, but I should hopefully be done by then. I’ll meet you at the house.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “No, Nate. It’s really not. Just come back to me, please. I know that makes me sound like some weak and needy girl, and honestly I really don’t care at the moment. I need you.”

  “You’re not weak, and I need you too. I’ll see you soon.”

  “Okay.”

  “Angel?”

  “Yes?”

  “I love you.”

  “I want to believe that.”

  She hangs up without returning those three little words, and it’s like a knife has cut me deep. I knew she was mad, but this has gone beyond that. I need to get back there, and try to make this right. Again. I’m hoping she’s of the nine lives way of thinking and not the three strikes. Because if it’s the later, I’m about to be out. And that—losing her after I’ve finally allowed myself to have her—would be the end for me. There would be absolutely nothing left for me to live for.

  * * *

  Jade

  Brent doesn’t like it when I tell him that he has to close the gym and leave early. I remind him that I’m the boss, and so he clears out the place, and then leaves. Ellie knows that I’m expecting someone, and is watching the door for me, but I’m surprised when Aiden slams into the office at 3:01.

  “Don’t do this, Jade. Do not let that woman up here.”

  “I can’t live like this, not knowing. She’s the key to what’s going on with Nate. You’ve just proven that.”

  “How did you even find her? What do you know?”

  “I asked Heath, and he gave me her name. He wouldn’t tell me anything else. And I know nothing. That’s the problem.”